Prophet Ya’qoub a.s. (also known as Jacob in christianity) had 12 sons. 10 sons from one wife and 2 from another. Those 10 tried to kill their half-brother, Prophet Yusuf (a.k.a. Joseph). I think we’ve all heard the history of their lives and what happened after. The real question is…
…is Prophet Ya’qoub a.s. responsible for the huge sin of his 10 sons trying to kill someone?
Remember, they didn’t just try to kill anyone! They tried to kill their own sibling!
But wait a second, before you give me your answer, let me tell you of a saying, a rumour really, that I heard.
Fathers and husbands carry the sins of their wives and children
Fathers and husbands carry the sins of their wives and children
Wait, what???!!
That’s right. That’s what they said.
There’s this belief that parents are also responsible for the actions of their children, and that husbands are also responsible for the wrongdoings of their wives.
If the wife doesn’t wear the hijab, the husband gets a sin. If the wife doesn’t fast, he gets another sin. If the wife doesn’t pray, then the husband will get a sin along with her.
Hmmm….
We know that a few prophets had wives who didn’t obey the commandments of God such as Nabi Nuh a.s. (a.k.a. Noah). If the previous concept is true, then would he also have to take on the sins of his wife? If his wife deserved hellfire, would he deserve it too?
There are prophets whose sons and daughters committed grievous acts such as Nabi Ya’qoub a.s. Is he responsible for their sins too?
Justice in Islam
That belief we were discussing just now? The concept is flawed. It breaks away from the concept of justice in Islam where you can only be responsible for your own sins. Such a belief directly conflicts with what is written in the holy Qur’an:
And no soul earns (sins) but against itself, and no bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another;
Qur’an 6:164
So where is this idea coming from? And what do you do when you hear this idea from someone? And what if that person is someone who you trust completely?
You can’t contradict the Qur’an
Here’s your answer:
It doesn’t matter how credible they are, they cannot contradict the Qur’an.
Even if you found a hadith that supported this belief, throw it away, because that hadith has to be weak. Otherwise, it would never contradict Al-Qur’an. Nothing can or should contradict the Qur’an, not even a hadith. Not even a hadith, and not anyone else, no matter what his credentials.
Remember this well, because the Qur’an is the highest source of authority in Islam. And anything that contradicts it can’t be accepted.
So… do you get off scot-free?
No, the husband/father does have a duty. But his duty is simply to educate and advise those who are under his care. But this isn’t something that’s special to his role as husband or father. You have a role to educate and advise anybody that is under your care.
If the husband/father has done his duty to educate and advise his wife and children, he is then free of blame for any actions they might take.
What kind of justice would it be if you had to carry the blame and sins for what someone else had done?
I’m sad to hear that people actually believe in something that so clearly contradicts the Qur’an. I would be sadder if I found out that people are actually spreading it to others.
If this concept was correct, then wouldn’t it be wajib (compulsory) to disown your son or divorce your wife in order to free yourself from their sins? This concept is illogical and flawed and we should not (and cannot!) believe it.
So, let’s fix that sentence. Before:
Fathers and husbands carry the sins of their wives and children.
After:
Fathers and husbands are responsible to educate their wives and their children. If they (the wives and children) still do not obey Allah, that is their sin and their sin alone.
It is a different story if you are the one who tells them to commit a sin. Then of course, you are to blame. Again, this isn’t something special to the role of husband/father. You would be to blame if you told *anyone *to commit a sin.
When you say that someone else also “bears your burdens” and bears your sins, you are saying something more as well. You’re saying that Islam doesn’t understand that a person should only be punished for his own misdeeds. You’re saying that Islam is a religion that is unfair to its followers and can place sins on someone for something they haven’t done! You’re saying…
…you’re saying that Islam doesn’t understand justice.
Back to the question
So the question was, “would Prophet Ya’qoub be responsible?”
And the answer would be NO. He already educated them and taught them what was right. After all, what are you going to do if your wife or daughter doesn’t wear hijab? Or if your son drinks? Divorce and disown them? Ridiculous.
If they fail to follow you, you must remember that it is only Allah that gives guidance, and we can only spread His message.
It is true you will not be able to guide every one who you love; but Allah guides those who He will and He knows best those who receive guidance.
Qur’an 28:56
Postscript
Please do your research before spreading gossip. Because gossip is what this is. Unfounded rumors without any evidence to support it. It’s bad enough for you to believe in something that’s false. It’s many times worse when you try to drag others down with you. It is worst of all when you take down the image of Islam with you, and say that Islam is unjust.
So, from now on, when you hear that “fathers and husbands carry the sins of their wives and children”, you know what to do! Tell them that the principle of justice, whether based on Islam or any instinctive universal value, will not place the mistakes of one person onto another.
Note: I only fully understood this after a very interesting discussion with my dad.