The pursuit of happiness. Nowadays we’re all trying to get there, to that elusive place called “happiness”. It’s a dream we try to grasp and we do so by doing ever more drastic things. But here’s the question:
Once you reach happiness, will it stay with you forever?
It’s impossible to be truly happy all the time. Honestly, that would be a bit psychotic. Can you imagine a person who was smiling all the time? Even when problems happened or someone close to them died? I’d want to put that person in a mental asylum. Life comes with it happiness and sadness, and it’s only human (and healthy) to feel the full spectrum of emotions rather than just being happy all the time. So then, is happiness a stupid goal?
Is happiness a stupid goal?
If happiness comes and goes, why then do we put happiness as our final goal in life?
We still want happiness anyway. And it’s actually fine. I’ve personally divided happiness into two: the feeling and the environment. Happiness is a worthy goal to have, but the goal shouldn’t be just to have that feeling. Rather, your pursuit of happiness should be a happiness of an environment where your innermost needs and desires are taken care of. You’ll still be sad when a loved one dies, but it’s not the sadness of living a life where you haven’t fulfilled your potential and made a difference.
So aim for a future where your inner needs are cared for: security, love, respect, health. Once those few needs are taken care of, everything else is just icing on the cake ( I don’t know why people say this, I like the icing more than the cake). Can’t go to Disneyland? You’d still be a bit sad, but life is still good. And when something truly wonderful happens, then you can freely be happy without feeling like there’s something missing in your life. THIS is the kind of happiness you want.
Why that kind of happiness?
Have you heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? It’s classic management theory that tells us that a person has to fulfill his basic needs of food and sleep before he can think of looking around for higher aims. It’s a little flawed here and there and doesn’t work perfectly all the time, but it’s a good rule of thumb that you can use.
And it does make sense to a point. When you still have to worry at the back of your head about your innermost needs, you can’t truly be happy because you haven’t achieved everything you truly need yet. Simple example: how can you celebrate a promotion and be happy when you haven’t eaten or slept in 3 days? It’s just not as important. Or when your son is hooked on drugs? Or when you have $300,000 of debt?
So how can I enjoy my happiness?
Tiny bursts of happiness pale in comparison when truly large problems exist in the background. And this is what I’m saying. The happiness we should be working towards isn’t those tiny bursts of happiness that come along from day to day. The happiness we should be working towards is the happiness of an environment free of major problems. Once you’ve cleared most of those problems, you’re free to not just be happy, but to truly enjoy that happiness when it comes.